Tell me a joke

[DiggityDaggityDo]

An eight year old girl went to the office with her Dad on a "Take your kid to work day".​

As they were walking around the office the young girl was getting crankier and crankier, crying and sobbing. Her father asked what was wrong with her?

As the concerned office staff gathered around she sobbed loudly "Daddy, where are all the clowns you said you worked with?"

 

[Tanko]

Statistically, 9 out of 10 people enjoy gang rape.

Dude.... If there is a hell for people in hell, I think you might be a first round draft pick.
Love you Diggity. Keep them coming.

 

[BMR Genie]

An eight year old girl went to the office with her Dad on a "Take your kid to work day".​

As they were walking around the office the young girl was getting crankier and crankier, crying and sobbing. Her father asked what was wrong with her?

As the concerned office staff gathered around she sobbed loudly "Daddy, where are all the clowns you said you worked with?"

Wahaha, For sure, Daddy the next day will eat his lunch alone.

 

[BMR Genie]

Dude.... If there is a hell for people in hell, I think you might be a first round draft pick.
Love you Diggity. Keep them coming.

LOL Tanko!

 

[JDS]

Dude.... If there is a hell for people in hell, I think you might be a first round draft pick.
Love you Diggity. Keep them coming.

Stop this nonsense Daggles is a lover not a fighter & he’s going to heaven

 

[DiggityDaggityDo]

A priest, a pedophile, and a rapist walk into a bar. He orders a beer.

 

[BMR Genie]

A man receives a message from a neighbor....

"Sorry sir I am using your wife...day and night... When you are not present at home...In fact, much more than you do. I confess this now because I am feeling very guilty. Hope you will accept my sincere apologies."

The man is down with a heart attack and admitted to the hospital.

The next day he receives another message:

"Sorry sir spelling mistake, it's not wife but wifi".

 

[KVB]

A priest, a pedophile, and a rapist walk into a bar. He orders a beer.

Too soon, DDD.

Too soon.

 

[DiggityDaggityDo]

Three guys are having a drink and start talking about the Guinness Book of World Records. Guy 1 says, "You know, I've got some big hands, I bet I have the world's largest hands." Guy 2 says, "and I've got some Pretty big feet, I bet I have the world's biggest feet." Guy 3 says, "Well, my penis is rather small, I bet I have the world's smallest penis." The next day the three of them show up to the Guinness Book offices to submit their claims. Guy 1 goes in and comes out shouting, " I HAVE THE WORLD'S LARGEST HANDS!" Guy 2 goes in and comes out shouting, " I HAVE THE WORLD'S LARGEST FEET!" Guy 3 goes in and comes out shouting, "WHO THE f*** is JJGold!?!?”

 

[DiggityDaggityDo]

Wow Dude. Harsh. You're going to hell....



See ya there.

I’ve been posting tame jokes, Tanko.

I’ve got some dark jokes, just not sure how’d they go over here. Probably not well.

So let’s keep rolling with the tame jokes:

A beautiful woman was standing on the edge of a bridge, about to jump off. An old stinky bum walks up and she sees him approaching. She says "Go away! There's nothing you can say that'll stop me!" "Well if you're going to kill yourself anyway, why not have sex with me? At least I'll enjoy it." "No! That's disgusting!" She says, and the old bum shrugs and starts walking away. "Wait!" She says. "Is that all you're going to say?! Where are you going?!" "Down to the bottom. If I hurry, you'll still be warm."

 

[JDS]

I’ve been posting tame jokes, Tanko.

I’ve got some dark jokes, just not sure how’d they go over here. Probably not well.

So let’s keep rolling with the tame jokes:

A beautiful woman was standing on the edge of a bridge, about to jump off. An old stinky bum walks up and she sees him approaching. She says "Go away! There's nothing you can say that'll stop me!" "Well if you're going to kill yourself anyway, why not have sex with me? At least I'll enjoy it." "No! That's disgusting!" She says, and the old bum shrugs and starts walking away. "Wait!" She says. "Is that all you're going to say?! Where are you going?!" "Down to the bottom. If I hurry, you'll still be warm."

Solid joke

 

[edawg]

Wife stubs her toe on the nightstand getting into bed after her shower and screams. Husband says "Oh my God honey are you all right?" He proceeds to get her ice, massage her, and kiss her and ends up having passionate sex with her. Afterwards the wife gets up to go the bathroom and stubs the same toe on the nightstand again and screams. Husband says " Why don't you watch where your going you clumsy bitch."

 

[matician]

In for the dark jokes

 

[DiggityDaggityDo]

In for the dark jokes

Ummmmmmmm OK…


What do you call a 6 year old with no friends? A Sandy Hook survivor.

 

[matician]

Ummmmmmmm OK…


What do you call a 6 year old with no friends? A Sandy Hook survivor.

‍

1. What goes in hard and dry, but comes out soft and wet? Gum.

2. What does KFC and vagina have in common? Both are finger lickin' good and after you're done eating, you have a box to put the bone in.

3. What do you call a cholo with one short leg and one regular leg? Not even a!

4. Why doesn't Mexico have an Olympic team? Because everybody that can run, jump, and swim are already in the U.S.

 

[DiggityDaggityDo]

In for the dark jokes

What has 2 heads, 5 arms and 3 legs?

The finish line of the Boston Marathon

 

[KVB]

...3. What do you call a cholo with one short leg and one regular leg? Not even a!...

I think the punchline is "a crip"

Yeah, I'm going with "a crip"

Final answer.

 

[KVB]

Wouldn't be surprised if this was already told in this thread but...

What a happens if JJ Gold gets an erection and then walks into a wall?


He breaks his nose.

 

[DiggityDaggityDo]

I think the punchline is "a crip"

Yeah, I'm going with "a crip"

Final answer.

Yeah crip.

Or…

Not evennnnnnnnnnn

 

[KVB]

What's the difference between acne and a Catholic priest?