Amen brother.... Amen.What time is it, when you see your mother-in-law hopping around the back yard on 1 leg…
Shoot her again ….
Tell me a joke
- Thread starter DiggityDaggityDo
- Start date
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Guy goes to confession and tells the priest he has had sex with 5 different women in the past week. Priest says "that he is right to ask for absolution." Guy says "I don't want absolution" priest says "then why did you tell me?" Guy says I am telling everybody!"
Oh my"What is the worst combination of illnesses?
Alzheimer’s and diarrhea. You’re running, but can’t remember where."
Lol
There was a Priest, a Methodist preacher and a baptist preacher all 3 playing golf together.
The priest told the other two that confession is important. He said look it’s just us three, let’s confess a sin nobody knows to each other.
Baptist preacher said ok your the confession guy you go first.
The priest said ok, I molested a boy before.
The Methodist preacher said wow, ok I had sex with a prostitute before.
they both looked at the Baptist preacher and said your turn!
The Baptist preacher said ok
I have a sin of gossiping and I can’t wait to tell my congregation.
The priest told the other two that confession is important. He said look it’s just us three, let’s confess a sin nobody knows to each other.
Baptist preacher said ok your the confession guy you go first.
The priest said ok, I molested a boy before.
The Methodist preacher said wow, ok I had sex with a prostitute before.
they both looked at the Baptist preacher and said your turn!
The Baptist preacher said ok
I have a sin of gossiping and I can’t wait to tell my congregation.
1. What’s the difference between 6 million dollars and 6 million Jews?
I give a sh*t when I lose 6 million dollars.
2. What’s the difference between a pregnant woman and a lightbulb?
You can unscrew a light bulb.
3. I have many jokes about unemployed people, but sadly none of them work.
Q: There's a Mexican and a black man in a car, who is driving the car?
The police
4. What’s the difference between E.T. and an illegal immigrant?
E.T. learned to speak English and wanted to go home.
5. What do you call a black man with a PhD, MD, who cured cancer, solved world hunger, and negotiated world peace?
Ni99er.
I give a sh*t when I lose 6 million dollars.
2. What’s the difference between a pregnant woman and a lightbulb?
You can unscrew a light bulb.
3. I have many jokes about unemployed people, but sadly none of them work.
Q: There's a Mexican and a black man in a car, who is driving the car?
The police
4. What’s the difference between E.T. and an illegal immigrant?
E.T. learned to speak English and wanted to go home.
5. What do you call a black man with a PhD, MD, who cured cancer, solved world hunger, and negotiated world peace?
Ni99er.
DiggityDaggityDo
- Joined
- Oct 30, 2021
- Messages
- 26,692
JJGold had been in the tree service business for 25 years. Finally, sick of the stress, he quits his job and buys 50 acres of land in Arizona, as far from humanity as possible.
He sees the postman once a week and gets groceries once a month. Otherwise it’s total peace and quiet. After six months or so of almost total isolation, someone knocks on his door. He opens it, and a huge, bearded man is standing there. “Name’s Bear, your neighbor from forty miles up the road. Having a Christmas party Friday night, thought you might like to come. About 5:00.” “Great”, says JJ, “after six months out here I’m ready to meet some local folks. Thank you.” As Bear is leaving, he stops. “Gotta warn you ... be some drinkin.” “Not a problem” says JJ. “After 25 years in the business, I can drink with the best of ‘em.” Again, the big man starts to leave and stops. “More ‘n’ likely gonna be some fightin’ too.” “Well, I get along with people, I’ll be all right. I’ll be there, thanks again.” “More’n likely be some wild sex, too.” “Now that’s really not a problem,” says JJ, warming to the idea. “I’ve been all alone for six months! I’ll definitely be there. By the way, what should I wear?” “Don’t much matter ... just gonna be the two of us.”
Well done
This one's kind of dark but we're all adults.Been sitting on that one for a while Jerky since I first heard of P. Diddy well after the song came out. Figured it was tooball to tell anybody but decent enough for a joke thread.
A rapist grabs a girl, puts a
to her throat & drags her into an alley.Rapist: Unless you want me to cut you bitch, you know the fukking drill!!!
Girl: Dear God, please
dont do this, don't you believe in karma?!?!?Rapist: I absolutely
do, that's why I couldn't even begin to imagine the horrible shit you must've done to deserve this.
DiggityDaggityDo
- Joined
- Oct 30, 2021
- Messages
- 26,692
Thread is heating up
Dougie bringing the heat for sure.
Guy heads to his seat on the back of a plane and 
a smoking hot stewardess reading a book. Asks her "what she is reading?" She says "oh it is very interesting it is on sexual studies from around the world and says the book states that black men have the longest genitals, latin men are the best lovers, and polish men have the thickest gentials". Guy says "my name is Tryrone Chico Polanski nice to meet you."
a smoking hot stewardess reading a book. Asks her "what she is reading?" She says "oh it is very interesting it is on sexual studies from around the world and says the book states that black men have the longest genitals, latin men are the best lovers, and polish men have the thickest gentials". Guy says "my name is Tryrone Chico Polanski nice to meet you."Free Sports Picks by League
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