Tell me a joke

[BMR Genie]

"Little boy has diarrhea & tells his mom he needs Viagra.

Mom replies What the hell for?

Boy replies Isn't that what you give dad when his shit wont get hard?"

 

[Tanko]

"Little boy has diarrhea & tells his mom he needs Viagra.

Mom replies What the hell for?

Boy replies Isn't that what you give dad when his shit wont get hard?"

10/10 Joke right there.

Short, hits home quick, funny.... Checking all the boxes.

 

[Franz555]

 

[Franz555]

 

[phillyflyers]

What's the difference between a n****r and a park bench?

A park bench can support a family of four.

 

[Franz555]

 

[maltedhopsfrenzy]

No respect, I tell ya! When I was born, the doctor went to my father in the waiting room and said, “I’m very sorry, we did everything we could… but he pulled through….”

My mother! She would get morning sickness every day AFTER I was born!

I get no respect - even when I was a toddler! Why, when I took my first steps, my old man tripped me!

No respect from my cat! As a boy, when I would play in the sandbox, he kept trying to cover me up!

My uncle! Boy! His dying wish was to have me sitting in his lap - he was in the electric chair!

No respect from the doctor! I said, “Doc! I just swallowed a handful of sleeping pills!” He told me to have a few drinks and get some rest!

My doctor! I said, “Doc, every morning when I look in the mirror, I feel like throwing up - what’s wrong with me?!?!” He said, “I don’t know, but your eyesight is perfect!”

Boy! My psychiatrist! I told him, “Doc! Everybody hates me!” He said, “That’s impossible! Everyone hasn’t met you yet…..”

No respect from my dog! His favorite bone is in my arm!

My wife! Man! I tell ya! We were both so happy for 25 years - then we met!

Just last night, my wife met me at the front door wearing nothing but a sexy negligée - only trouble was, she was coming home!

My wife, I tell ya! She loves to talk dirty to me during sex! Just the other night, she called me from a hotel room…..

Boy! I remember when I met the surgeon general - he offered me a cigarette!

No respect, I tell ya! Last week I went to a bar, the bartender asks me, “What’ll you have?” I said, “surprise me.” - so he shows me a naked picture of my wife!

 

[Tanko]

No respect, I tell ya! When I was born, the doctor went to my father in the waiting room and said, “I’m very sorry, we did everything we could… but he pulled through….”

My mother! She would get morning sickness every day AFTER I was born!

I get no respect - even when I was a toddler! Why, when I took my first steps, my old man tripped me!

No respect from my cat! As a boy, when I would play in the sandbox, he kept trying to cover me up!

My uncle! Boy! His dying wish was to have me sitting in his lap - he was in the electric chair!

No respect from the doctor! I said, “Doc! I just swallowed a handful of sleeping pills!” He told me to have a few drinks and get some rest!

My doctor! I said, “Doc, every morning when I look in the mirror, I feel like throwing up - what’s wrong with me?!?!” He said, “I don’t know, but your eyesight is perfect!”

Boy! My psychiatrist! I told him, “Doc! Everybody hates me!” He said, “That’s impossible! Everyone hasn’t met you yet…..”

No respect from my dog! His favorite bone is in my arm!

My wife! Man! I tell ya! We were both so happy for 25 years - then we met!

Just last night, my wife met me at the front door wearing nothing but a sexy negligée - only trouble was, she was coming home!

My wife, I tell ya! She loves to talk dirty to me during sex! Just the other night, she called me from a hotel room…..

Boy! I remember when I met the surgeon general - he offered me a cigarette!

No respect, I tell ya! Last week I went to a bar, the bartender asks me, “What’ll you have?” I said, “surprise me.” - so he shows me a naked picture of my wife!

View attachment 60802

Rodney was a classic comedian. Very unique.
Loved all of his movies.

 

[baz]

No respect, I tell ya! When I was born, the doctor went to my father in the waiting room and said, “I’m very sorry, we did everything we could… but he pulled through….”

My mother! She would get morning sickness every day AFTER I was born!

I get no respect - even when I was a toddler! Why, when I took my first steps, my old man tripped me!

No respect from my cat! As a boy, when I would play in the sandbox, he kept trying to cover me up!

My uncle! Boy! His dying wish was to have me sitting in his lap - he was in the electric chair!

No respect from the doctor! I said, “Doc! I just swallowed a handful of sleeping pills!” He told me to have a few drinks and get some rest!

My doctor! I said, “Doc, every morning when I look in the mirror, I feel like throwing up - what’s wrong with me?!?!” He said, “I don’t know, but your eyesight is perfect!”

Boy! My psychiatrist! I told him, “Doc! Everybody hates me!” He said, “That’s impossible! Everyone hasn’t met you yet…..”

No respect from my dog! His favorite bone is in my arm!

My wife! Man! I tell ya! We were both so happy for 25 years - then we met!

Just last night, my wife met me at the front door wearing nothing but a sexy negligée - only trouble was, she was coming home!

My wife, I tell ya! She loves to talk dirty to me during sex! Just the other night, she called me from a hotel room…..

Boy! I remember when I met the surgeon general - he offered me a cigarette!

No respect, I tell ya! Last week I went to a bar, the bartender asks me, “What’ll you have?” I said, “surprise me.” - so he shows me a naked picture of my wife!

View attachment 60802

you forgot the one about his pops would "force him to sleep on the kitchen floor to scare away the roaches".....lol

Rodney is in my top 3 idols. EASILY.

 

[Franz555]

 

[Tanko]

View attachment 60814

LMAO

I spit my beer out on that one.

 

[maltedhopsfrenzy]

What's the difference between a park bench and a n****r?

A park bench can support a family of four.