Tell me a joke
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phillyflyers
- Joined
- Aug 8, 2024
- Messages
- 7,231
What's the difference between a n****r and a park bench?
A park bench can support a family of four.
A park bench can support a family of four.
maltedhopsfrenzy
- Joined
- Jan 24, 2023
- Messages
- 4,658
No respect, I tell ya! When I was born, the doctor went to my father in the waiting room and said, “I’m very sorry, we did everything we could… but he pulled through….”
My mother! She would get morning sickness every day AFTER I was born!
I get no respect - even when I was a toddler! Why, when I took my first steps, my old man tripped me!
No respect from my cat! As a boy, when I would play in the sandbox, he kept trying to cover me up!
My uncle! Boy! His dying wish was to have me sitting in his lap - he was in the electric chair!
No respect from the doctor! I said, “Doc! I just swallowed a handful of sleeping pills!” He told me to have a few drinks and get some rest!
My doctor! I said, “Doc, every morning when I look in the mirror, I feel like throwing up - what’s wrong with me?!?!” He said, “I don’t know, but your eyesight is perfect!”
Boy! My psychiatrist! I told him, “Doc! Everybody hates me!” He said, “That’s impossible! Everyone hasn’t met you yet…..”
No respect from my dog! His favorite bone is in my arm!
My wife! Man! I tell ya! We were both so happy for 25 years - then we met!
Just last night, my wife met me at the front door wearing nothing but a sexy negligée - only trouble was, she was coming home!
My wife, I tell ya! She loves to talk dirty to me during sex! Just the other night, she called me from a hotel room…..
Boy! I remember when I met the surgeon general - he offered me a cigarette!
No respect, I tell ya! Last week I went to a bar, the bartender asks me, “What’ll you have?” I said, “surprise me.” - so he shows me a naked picture of my wife!
Rodney was a classic comedian. Very unique.
No respect, I tell ya! When I was born, the doctor went to my father in the waiting room and said, “I’m very sorry, we did everything we could… but he pulled through….”
My mother! She would get morning sickness every day AFTER I was born!
I get no respect - even when I was a toddler! Why, when I took my first steps, my old man tripped me!
No respect from my cat! As a boy, when I would play in the sandbox, he kept trying to cover me up!
My uncle! Boy! His dying wish was to have me sitting in his lap - he was in the electric chair!
No respect from the doctor! I said, “Doc! I just swallowed a handful of sleeping pills!” He told me to have a few drinks and get some rest!
My doctor! I said, “Doc, every morning when I look in the mirror, I feel like throwing up - what’s wrong with me?!?!” He said, “I don’t know, but your eyesight is perfect!”
Boy! My psychiatrist! I told him, “Doc! Everybody hates me!” He said, “That’s impossible! Everyone hasn’t met you yet…..”
No respect from my dog! His favorite bone is in my arm!
My wife! Man! I tell ya! We were both so happy for 25 years - then we met!
Just last night, my wife met me at the front door wearing nothing but a sexy negligée - only trouble was, she was coming home!
My wife, I tell ya! She loves to talk dirty to me during sex! Just the other night, she called me from a hotel room…..
Boy! I remember when I met the surgeon general - he offered me a cigarette!
No respect, I tell ya! Last week I went to a bar, the bartender asks me, “What’ll you have?” I said, “surprise me.” - so he shows me a naked picture of my wife!
View attachment 60802
Loved all of his movies.
you forgot the one about his pops would "force him to sleep on the kitchen floor to scare away the roaches".....lol
No respect, I tell ya! When I was born, the doctor went to my father in the waiting room and said, “I’m very sorry, we did everything we could… but he pulled through….”
My mother! She would get morning sickness every day AFTER I was born!
I get no respect - even when I was a toddler! Why, when I took my first steps, my old man tripped me!
No respect from my cat! As a boy, when I would play in the sandbox, he kept trying to cover me up!
My uncle! Boy! His dying wish was to have me sitting in his lap - he was in the electric chair!
No respect from the doctor! I said, “Doc! I just swallowed a handful of sleeping pills!” He told me to have a few drinks and get some rest!
My doctor! I said, “Doc, every morning when I look in the mirror, I feel like throwing up - what’s wrong with me?!?!” He said, “I don’t know, but your eyesight is perfect!”
Boy! My psychiatrist! I told him, “Doc! Everybody hates me!” He said, “That’s impossible! Everyone hasn’t met you yet…..”
No respect from my dog! His favorite bone is in my arm!
My wife! Man! I tell ya! We were both so happy for 25 years - then we met!
Just last night, my wife met me at the front door wearing nothing but a sexy negligée - only trouble was, she was coming home!
My wife, I tell ya! She loves to talk dirty to me during sex! Just the other night, she called me from a hotel room…..
Boy! I remember when I met the surgeon general - he offered me a cigarette!
No respect, I tell ya! Last week I went to a bar, the bartender asks me, “What’ll you have?” I said, “surprise me.” - so he shows me a naked picture of my wife!
View attachment 60802
Rodney is in my top 3 idols. EASILY.
maltedhopsfrenzy
- Joined
- Jan 24, 2023
- Messages
- 4,658
Rory in his feminine days good find lol.
"My five-year old students are learning to read.
Yesterday one of them pointed at a picture in a zoo book and said,
"Look at this! It's a frickin' elephant!"
I took a deep breath, then asked, "What did you call it?"
"It's a frickin' elephant! It says so on the picture!"
And so it does...
Yesterday one of them pointed at a picture in a zoo book and said,
"Look at this! It's a frickin' elephant!"
I took a deep breath, then asked, "What did you call it?"
"It's a frickin' elephant! It says so on the picture!"
And so it does...
ttwarrior1
- Joined
- Jan 3, 2022
- Messages
- 1,721
maltedhopsfrenzy
- Joined
- Jan 24, 2023
- Messages
- 4,658
Marketing style level 101.
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