Tell me a joke

[Tanko]

Please refer to Ho Chi "Minh" not "MIhn" as "Uncle Ho" Tankster, you are a hero here, nobody can ever ban you. You are worshiped here.

Sorry Fly... I fixed it. Under a lot of stress here.

 

[Franz555]

@DiggityDaggityDo if Bobby bans me, I'll have to move out of the shed and will leave you the following items:

• The DVD collection of videos I made spying into your windows. I feel you should get these. I've been selling them on Ebay.
• Blow up doll (her name is Brenda, be gentle)
• The assortment of Diddy brand lotions/gels in the nightstand next to the bed.
• AM/FM radio. It only gets Christian music stations so find god...
• My collection of plastic straws and toothpicks. Worth several dollars.
• My most precious item... the painting I made of @flyingillini (my personal hero) and Ho Chi Minh. Display it proudly in your living room.

Send @maltedhopsfrenzy the Corona stored in the back corner. They are warm just like he likes it.
Send @BMR Genie the flashdrive hidden in the Costa Rica travel guide. It has ~10 BTC on it.
Send Bobby the pile of skid-marked underwear.

After you get this stuff out, you might want to burn the shed. There were a few nights of some disgusting activity involving bodily fluids that probably shouldn't be talked about.

Thanks.

See , now thats some funny sh*t right there Tanko

 

[BMR Genie]

@DiggityDaggityDo if Bobby bans me, I'll have to move out of the shed and will leave you the following items:

• The DVD collection of videos I made spying into your windows. I feel you should get these. I've been selling them on Ebay.
• Blow up doll (her name is Brenda, be gentle)
• The assortment of Diddy brand lotions/gels in the nightstand next to the bed.
• AM/FM radio. It only gets Christian music stations so find god...
• My collection of plastic straws and toothpicks. Worth several dollars.
• My most precious item... the painting I made of @flyingillini (my personal hero) and Ho Chi Minh. Display it proudly in your living room.

Send @maltedhopsfrenzy the Corona stored in the back corner. They are warm just like he likes it.
Send @BMR Genie the flashdrive hidden in the Costa Rica travel guide. It has ~10 BTC on it.
Send Bobby the pile of skid-marked underwear.

After you get this stuff out, you might want to burn the shed. There were a few nights of some disgusting activity involving bodily fluids that probably shouldn't be talked about.

Thanks.

You just regained yourself, Tank.

 

[maltedhopsfrenzy]

@DiggityDaggityDo if Bobby bans me, I'll have to move out of the shed and will leave you the following items:

• The DVD collection of videos I made spying into your windows. I feel you should get these. I've been selling them on Ebay.
• Blow up doll (her name is Brenda, be gentle)
• The assortment of Diddy brand lotions/gels in the nightstand next to the bed.
• AM/FM radio. It only gets Christian music stations so find god...
• My collection of plastic straws and toothpicks. Worth several dollars.
• My most precious item... the painting I made of @flyingillini (my personal hero) and Ho Chi Minh. Display it proudly in your living room.

Send @maltedhopsfrenzy the Corona stored in the back corner. They are warm just like he likes it.
Send @BMR Genie the flashdrive hidden in the Costa Rica travel guide. It has ~10 BTC on it.
Send Bobby the pile of skid-marked underwear.

After you get this stuff out, you might want to burn the shed. There were a few nights of some disgusting activity involving bodily fluids that probably shouldn't be talked about.

Thanks.

I’d rather have the DVD spying videos…..

 

[maltedhopsfrenzy]

Little Johnny is in the classroom when the teacher pricks her hand on a pin.

"Miss, you should put that in some apple cider".

"That's a bit strange. Why is that, little Johnny?"

"Well, my sister says whenever she gets a prick in her hand, she puts it in cider"

 

[maltedhopsfrenzy]

Johnny walks into the bedroom as his parents are having sex.

He points to his Mom’s vagina and asks “what’s that?”

Flustered by the question the Dad says, “that’s where Daddy hit Mommy with the axe.”

“Pretty good shot” says Johnny, “got her right in the cunt!”

 

[maltedhopsfrenzy]

The teacher asks the class to name their father's occupation and to spell it.

Billy starts. "My father is a baker. B A K E R. If he was here he would give us each a cookie."

Timmy is next. "Banker. B A N K E R. If he were here he would give us each a quarter."

Bobby is next My dad is an electrician. E L. E L E R. E L X...

Little Johnny quickly pipes up. "My father is a bookie. B O O K I E. If he were here he would give everyone 20-1 odds on Bobby ever spelling electrician.“

 

[BMR Genie]

"A kindergarten teacher is trying to explain to her class the definition of the word 'definitely.' To make sure the students have a good understanding of the word, she asks them to use it in a sentence. A student in the front raises her hand and says, 'The sky is definitely blue.' The teacher says, 'Well, that isn't entirely correct because sometimes it's gray and cloudy.' Another student says, 'Grass is definitely green.' The teacher again replies, 'If grass doesn't get enough water, it turns brown, so that isn't really correct either.' Finally, Billy raises his hand and asks the teacher, 'Do farts have lumps?'
"The teacher looks at Billy and says, 'That isn't really a question you want to ask in class discussion, but...no.'
Billy replies, 'Then I definitely just shit my pants.'"

 

[ttwarrior1]

 

[Franz555]

 

[edawg]

How many Irishmen does it take to screw in a light bulb? ...Who gives a Fook we can drink in the dark.

 

[maltedhopsfrenzy]

Little Johnny is in anatomy class when the teacher points to a picture of a naked woman.

"Suzie, can you tell me what these are?" asked the teacher. "Yes ma'am, those are breasts." replied Suzie. "Very good," said the teacher. "And how many do women have?" "2, one on each side." replied Suzie.

The teacher pointed a picture of a man and asks, "Little Johnny, what is this?" "That's a penis ma'am." replied Johnny. "Very good, Johnny." Said the Teacher "How many do men have?" "2!" Replied Johnny proudly. "2?, how do you figure 2, Little Johnny?" Asked Teacher. "Well, my dad has 2. 1 little one he pees with, and a loooong one he uses to brush Mommy's teeth."

 

[Franz555]

 

[Franz555]

 

[phillyflyers]

How can you tell when a black guy has been on your computer?

It's gone.

 

[Franz555]

 

[maltedhopsfrenzy]

Little Johnny's dad comes home from work and takes Little Johnny’s mom straight to the bedroom to have his way with her. Little Johnny walks in and asks his dad, “What are you doing to mommy?!?!”

Daddy says, “It's O.K. Johnny, I'm just pumping her back up.”

Little Johnny says, “Man! She must have a really bad leak, because the mailman just pumped her up an hour ago!”

 

[Franz555]

 

[phillyflyers]

How does a black woman tell she's pregnant before going to the doctor?

When she takes out her tampon the cotton is already picked.

 

[edawg]

Why don't blacks like asprin? It's white it works and you got to pick cotton to get to it.