Tell me a joke

[patrickbateman]

What's the difference between a Liberal and a prostitute?

The prostitute gives value for the money she takes.

 

[patrickbateman]

Whats the difference between Rudolph the red nosed reindeer and a Liberal?

Rudolph can overcome adversity without any government assistance.

 

[patrickbateman]

What's the difference between a Liberal and a catfish?

One is an ugly, scum sucking bottom-feeder and the other is a fish.

 

[patrickbateman]

What do you call a Liberal with an IQ of 130?

A foursome.

 

[patrickbateman]

Life is like a box of chocolates; it ends sooner for fat people.

 

[patrickbateman]

What do you call a black man in a ghetto walking around with a boombox on his shoulders? A stereotype.

 

[patrickbateman]

What did the lesbian vampire tell the other lesbian vampire?

See you next month!

 

[patrickbateman]

Lesbians and two gay men leave San Fran going to New York. ...... Who get's there first?

The lesbians..

They get there Lickity Split.

While the gay men are still home packing their shit.

 

[maltedhopsfrenzy]

Bateman on a roll tonite!

 

[patrickbateman]

 

[patrickbateman]

 

[patrickbateman]

 

[patrickbateman]

 

[patrickbateman]

Bateman on a roll tonite!

View attachment 38182

I'm feeling frisky tonight.

 

[patrickbateman]

 

[Tanko]

Ok. These aren't jokes but I thought they were interesting.....
Origination of some old phrases.....

• In the 1800s in England families who were poor would sell their urine to places that used it to tan animal skin. --> These families were considered "piss-poor".
  
  
• During the late1500s when people would go to plays, a boy would stand with a box to collect coins as people entered. When the box became heavy the boy would go into a small room and replace the box. --> this room became the "box office".
  
  
• During WWI machine guns came with a 9 yard long magazine belt. Soldiers would say to the gunner --> "Give them the whole 9 yards", meaning for the gunner to use all he had.
  
  
• In 1800s hunting with dogs was popular. As the dogs ran after the prey, sometimes the hunters would find all the dogs surrounding a tree barking when there was nothing in the tree --> "They were barking up the wrong tree".

 

[edawg]

Ok. These aren't jokes but I thought they were interesting.....
Origination of some old phrases.....

• In the 1800s in England families who were poor would sell their urine to places that used it to tan animal skin. --> These families were considered "piss-poor".
  
  
• During the late1500s when people would go to plays, a boy would stand with a box to collect coins as people entered. When the box became heavy the boy would go into a small room and replace the box. --> this room became the "box office".
  
  
• During WWI machine guns came with a 9 yard long magazine belt. Soldiers would say to the gunner --> "Give them the whole 9 yards", meaning for the gunner to use all he had.
  
  
• In 1800s hunting with dogs was popular. As the dogs ran after the prey, sometimes the hunters would find all the dogs surrounding a tree barking when there was nothing in the tree --> "They were barking up the wrong tree".

Crapper didn't invent the toilet but he did invent the ballcock.

 

[BMR Genie]

Ok. These aren't jokes but I thought they were interesting.....
Origination of some old phrases.....

• In the 1800s in England families who were poor would sell their urine to places that used it to tan animal skin. --> These families were considered "piss-poor".
  
  
• During the late1500s when people would go to plays, a boy would stand with a box to collect coins as people entered. When the box became heavy the boy would go into a small room and replace the box. --> this room became the "box office".
  
  
• During WWI machine guns came with a 9 yard long magazine belt. Soldiers would say to the gunner --> "Give them the whole 9 yards", meaning for the gunner to use all he had.
  
  
• In 1800s hunting with dogs was popular. As the dogs ran after the prey, sometimes the hunters would find all the dogs surrounding a tree barking when there was nothing in the tree --> "They were barking up the wrong tree".

Oh wow! These are good ones, Tank.

 

[BMR Genie]

"The maid asked her boss, the wife, for a raise, and the wife was upset.
The wife asked “Why do you think you deserve a pay increase?”
Maid: “There are three reasons. The first is that I iron better than you.”
Wife: “Who said that?”
Maid: “Your husband.”
Wife: “Oh.”
Maid: “The second reason is that I am a better cook than you.”
Wife: “Who said that?”
Maid: “Your husband.
”Wife: “Oh.”
Maid: “The third reason is that I am better at *-./ x than you.”
Wife: “Did my husband say that as well?”
Maid: “No, the gardener did.”
Wife: “So how much do you want?”

 

[ladonque]