Smart!
Tell me a joke
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Trump passes away and meets with the Devil.
The devil says, "We are out of room. The place is full but, you have to stay so it looks like we'll have to let someone else leave."
The Devil states, "We'll go check out 3 people and you can decide who gets to go to heaven so you can take their place for eternity."
Trump says, "Fine."
Devil opens up the first door and inside is Obama jumping in a pool and climbing out, over and over again. Trump says, "Pass I can't swim and I'm not letting that guy go to heaven.".
Devil opens up the second door and inside is Al Gore breaking up rocks with a sledge hammer. Trump says, "Pass my hands are too soft for that work and I'm not letting that guy go to heaven.".
Devil opens up the third door and inside is Bill Clinton tied to a bed and getting serviced by Monica Lewinsky. Trump says,"Hell yeah. Bill set a good example with Monica and I would enjoy that."
The Devil asks, "Are you sure you want to do this for eternity?".
Trump screams, "Absolutely, I can do that for enternity."
The Devils says, "OK Monica, you can go to heaven now."
The devil says, "We are out of room. The place is full but, you have to stay so it looks like we'll have to let someone else leave."
The Devil states, "We'll go check out 3 people and you can decide who gets to go to heaven so you can take their place for eternity."
Trump says, "Fine."
Devil opens up the first door and inside is Obama jumping in a pool and climbing out, over and over again. Trump says, "Pass I can't swim and I'm not letting that guy go to heaven.".
Devil opens up the second door and inside is Al Gore breaking up rocks with a sledge hammer. Trump says, "Pass my hands are too soft for that work and I'm not letting that guy go to heaven.".
Devil opens up the third door and inside is Bill Clinton tied to a bed and getting serviced by Monica Lewinsky. Trump says,"Hell yeah. Bill set a good example with Monica and I would enjoy that."
The Devil asks, "Are you sure you want to do this for eternity?".
Trump screams, "Absolutely, I can do that for enternity."
The Devils says, "OK Monica, you can go to heaven now."
OMG!
"Two young guys appear in court after being arrested for smoking dope. The judge says, "You seem like nice young men, and I'd like to give you a second chance instead of jail time. I want you to go out this weekend and try to convince others of the evils of drug use. I'll see you back in court Monday." On Monday, the judge asks the first guy, "How did you do over the weekend?" "Well, your honor, I persuaded 17 people to give up drugs forever." "Seventeen people? That's wonderful. How did you do it? " "I used a diagram, your honor. I drew two circles like this: O o. Then I told them that the big circle is your brain before drugs and the small circle is your brain after drugs." "That's admirable," says the judge. Then he turns to the second guy. "And how did you do?" "Well, your honor, I persuaded 156 people to give up drugs forever." "Wow!" says the judge. "156 people! How did you manage to do that?" "Well, I used a similar diagram," the guy says. "I drew two circles like this: o O. Then I pointed to the little circle and said, 'This is your asshole before prison... '""
That's a really good one Genie.
"After a long night of making love, the guy notices a photo of another man, on the woman’s nightstand by the bed. He begins to worry. "Is this your husband?" he nervously asks. "No, silly," she replies, snuggling up to him. "Your boyfriend, then?" he continues. "No, not at all," she says, nibbling away at his ear. "Is it your dad or your brother?" he inquires, hoping to be reassured. "No, no, no! You are so hot when you’re jealous!" she answers. "Well, who in the hell is he, then?" he demands. She whispers in his ear: "That’s me before the surgery.""
That's not something to joke about Genie....
After watching the movie "The Crying Game", thinking about things like this makes me queasy.
carolinakid
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Joe Biden had a meeting with the Cabinet today
He also spoke to the bookcase and argued with the desk.
carolinakid
- Joined
- Oct 20, 2021
- Messages
- 39,046
President Biden has called for full legalization of marijuana
Now it is up to Congress to hold a joint session.
carolinakid
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- Messages
- 39,046
Joe Biden's Least Favorite Song?
Stairway to Heaven
This one was funny. It hits on every necessity for a joke.
Simple. Direct. Applicable.
Is it a good movie, Tank?That's not something to joke about Genie....
After watching the movie "The Crying Game", thinking about things like this makes me queasy.
The ending is everything.
You find out the girl is actually a guy.
I'm ok if people want to be trans but that movie threw me for a loop.
Wow! What a twist.
The tranny in that movie can suck one hell of a dick.
Little boy asks his dad, "How does politics work".
Dad says;
"Well, I make all the money so call me Capitalism.
Your mom handles the money and administers things around the house so she is the Government.
We take care of your needs so you are the People.
The nanny, is the Working Class.
Your baby brother is the Future.
Think about this and then come back to me and tell me if understand politics now."
The boy says, "OK Dad." and heads off to bed for the night.
That night, the boy hears his little brother crying and checks on him and sees that he needs a new diaper. So he goes to his parents room and sees his mother asleep. So he goes to the nanny's room but that door is locked. He looked through the keyhole and sees his dad doing the business with the nanny. He gives up and goes back to bed.
The next morning the dad asks the boy, "Did you think about how politics work last night"?
The boy says, "Yes, I think so".....
"While the government is asleep, capitalism is f#king the working class, while the people are being ignored, and the future is in deep s#it."
Dad says;
"Well, I make all the money so call me Capitalism.
Your mom handles the money and administers things around the house so she is the Government.
We take care of your needs so you are the People.
The nanny, is the Working Class.
Your baby brother is the Future.
Think about this and then come back to me and tell me if understand politics now."
The boy says, "OK Dad." and heads off to bed for the night.
That night, the boy hears his little brother crying and checks on him and sees that he needs a new diaper. So he goes to his parents room and sees his mother asleep. So he goes to the nanny's room but that door is locked. He looked through the keyhole and sees his dad doing the business with the nanny. He gives up and goes back to bed.
The next morning the dad asks the boy, "Did you think about how politics work last night"?
The boy says, "Yes, I think so".....
"While the government is asleep, capitalism is f#king the working class, while the people are being ignored, and the future is in deep s#it."
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"A girl was a prostitute, but she did not want her grandma to know. One day the police raided a whole group of prostitutes at a sex party in a hotel and she was among them. The police took them outside and had all the prostitutes line up along the driveway. Suddenly the girl's grandma came by and saw her. "Why are you standing in line, dear?" she asked. Not willing to let her grandma know the truth, the girl told her that the policemen were passing out free oranges. "Why, that is awfully nice of them! I think I'll get some for myself," said the grandma. A policeman went down the line, asking for information from all of the prostitutes. When he got to Grandma, he exclaimed, "Wow, still going at it at your age? How do you do it?" Grandma replied, "Oh, it's easy, dear. I just take out my dentures and suck them dry!""
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