Tell me a joke

[BMR Genie]

"There was a preacher who fell in the ocean and he couldn't swim. When a boat came by, the captain yelled, "Do you need help, sir?" The preacher calmly said "No, God will save me." A little later, another boat came by and a fisherman asked, "Hey, do you need help?" The preacher replied again, "No God will save me." Eventually the preacher drowned & went to heaven. The preacher asked God, "Why didn't you save me?" God replied, "Fool, I sent you two boats!"

 

[BMR Genie]

Guy is like "that's funny cuz your mom has a way looser snatch but is a way better f***"

and that's how they end their marriage haha

 

[BMR Genie]

"Two factory workers are talking. The woman says, "I can make the boss give me the day off." The man replies, "And how would you do that?" The woman says, "Just wait and see." She then hangs upside down from the ceiling. The boss comes in and says, "What are you doing?" The woman replies, "I'm a light bulb." The boss then says, "You've been working so much that you've gone crazy. I think you need to take the day off." The man starts to follow her and the boss says, "Where are you going?" The man says, "I'm going home, too. I can't work in the dark."

 

[edawg]

Stan and Stosh are factory workers that leave early to go drinking at the bar every night right after their boss leaves. One day Stosh tells Stan he has to stop home really quick to get some money for the bar. Stosh comes out with a worried look on his face and tells Stan to be quiet. Stan says what is wrong buddy. Stosh says shhh be quiet I think the boss might be on to us I just him looking for me under my wife's dress.

 

[kidcudi92]

Joe Biden

 

[JDS]

Two rich confident assholes with small dicks walk into a bar, one orders a Shirley Temple, the other orders a Scotch on the Rocks. The asshole drinking the Shirley Temple gets up and starts dancing to a Taylor Swift song. Guy drinking the Scotch asks the man why are you dancing ? The other asshole says you came to the wrong bar allow me to pop your cherry.

~JDS~

 

[edawg]

All I know is if you go partying in Key West and get up from the bar and a guy asks if he can push in your stool for you just say NO!

 

[DiggityDaggityDo]

All I know is if you go partying in Key West and get up from the bar and a guy asks if he can push in your stool for you just say NO!

Three bottoms are sitting at a bar.​

The first says, “I’m so loose my boyfriend can fit his whole hand inside me.”
The second says “that’s nothing. My boyfriend can fit his whole arm inside me!”
The third laughs, and the bar stool disappears.

 

[matician]

a. My favorite sexual position is the JFK: I explode all over her while she screams and tries to get out of the car.

b. What's better than winning gold at the special olympics? Not being retarded.

c. "One day I'm going to murder 60 million Jews and one clown."
"Why 1 clown?"
"See, nobody ever cares about the Jews."

d. What do you call a white girl in between two black men?
Oreos

e. What do you call a white girl in between two Asian men?
SnackWell's Vanilla Cookies

 

[BMR Genie]

"My friend thinks he is smart. He told me an onion is the only food that makes you cry, so I threw a coconut at his face. "

 

[kidcudi92]

Joe Biden again that’s it that’s the joke

 

[DiggityDaggityDo]

A teacher asked the class to use the word ’urinate’ in a sentence.

She noticed little Johnny was not paying attention and yelled at him, ‟Johnny, use the word ’urinate’ in a sentence, or I am giving you detention.” Johnny stood up and said, ‟Urinate...but if you had bigger boobs you'd be a 10.”

 

[JDS]

View attachment 14609

A teacher asked the class to use the word ’urinate’ in a sentence.

She noticed little Johnny was not paying attention and yelled at him, ‟Johnny, use the word ’urinate’ in a sentence, or I am giving you detention.” Johnny stood up and said, ‟Urinate...but if you had bigger boobs you'd be a 10.”

Love it

 

[carolinakid]

joke on the cops https://www.youtube.com/shorts/v8MpP1nhMe0

 

[BMR Genie]

"What is the difference between Tiger Woods and Santa Claus? A: Santa stops after three hos."

 

[BMR Genie]

"A child asked his father, "How were people born?" So his father said, "Adam and Eve made babies, then their babies became adults and made babies, and so on." The child then went to his mother, asked her the same question and she told him, "We were monkeys then we evolved to become like we are now." The child ran back to his father and said, "You lied to me!" His father replied, "No, your mom was talking about her side of the family."

 

[JDS]

"A child asked his father, "How were people born?" So his father said, "Adam and Eve made babies, then their babies became adults and made babies, and so on." The child then went to his mother, asked her the same question and she told him, "We were monkeys then we evolved to become like we are now." The child ran back to his father and said, "You lied to me!" His father replied, "No, your mom was talking about her side of the family."

OMG hilarious

 

[JDS]

Joke of the fuckin’ week right there lol so well written

 

[BMR Genie]

Joke of the fuckin’ week right there lol so well written

Whoever write this joke has a high level of humor haha

 

[JDS]

Whoever write this joke has a high level of humor haha

For real for real Miss G