Anyone else hate the holidays

[djefferis]

Holidays can be rough losing anyone - especially the first one immediately following.

Everyone’s different In that regard I guess. To me - it never bothered me after my dad passed around the holidays - it’s strangely things like the Kentucky Derby that are tougher. But holidays we just weren’t big on celebrating - but stuff like the Derby - you know damn well who my first call was after watching it if I hit something big (or if I completely whiffed or some long shot hit).

To me - losing a child would be far worse. Parents/grandparents are tough - don’t get me wrong - but there’s supposed to be a natural order of things and kids aren’t supposed to go first.

Have a few friends/family members who have lost children way too damn young. Always try to check in on them this time of year as I know it’s got to be tough.

 

[djefferis]

The church thing - meh - I’m a bit jaded by growing up Catholic I guess.

I always used to do midnight mass back at my “home” parish with my maternal “grandmother” (long story). I moved on from the church as it became clearer and clearer their focus was more about the financial and less about saving souls.

I’ve remained Christian but non denominational since and have attended a variety of houses of worship. Again - some are more focused on themselves than any message. I understand why many say you cannot be fully committed without attending services - but at the same time for some that’s just a sales pitch to get asses in seats.

 

[phillyflyers]

The church thing - meh - I’m a bit jaded by growing up Catholic I guess.

I always used to do midnight mass back at my “home” parish with my maternal “grandmother” (long story). I moved on from the church as it became clearer and clearer their focus was more about the financial and less about saving souls.

I’ve remained Christian but non denominational since and have attended a variety of houses of worship. Again - some are more focused on themselves than any message. I understand why many say you cannot be fully committed without attending services - but at the same time for some that’s just a sales pitch to get asses in seats.

In what way was it more about financials than saving souls?

 

[djefferis]

In what way was it more about financials than saving souls?

Well - the best example of what I saw locally was a letter personally written to my mother January 8th from the local priest - outlining the need for giving now that the holidays had passed - reminding her of the duties of parishioners to support the parish in their mission and while thanking her for being a life long member of the church for her adult life - reminding all of us have a limited time on earth and it is our duty to do what we can to support the needs of the parish by including them in our estate plan.

Mind you my mother passed on 12/31 and he performed her mass on 1/5 - so seemed a bit off he wrote a personal plea for cash 3 days later to a life long member of a parish of like 75 people total.

It was much of the same when we dad died - coming up to me and mom after the service reminding how dad would have wanted the church to be included in his estate - we reminded them then an estate plan was made long before and anyone included would be notified.

Of course every individual church is different- there may be Catholic Churches that are far less money grubbing - and there might be other faiths that are worse. I can only speak from experience and experience showed me the interest were financial first.

Actually reminds me of a brief exchange my dad had with the local head of the parish at the time (a Monsignor). Dad was with the Knights of Columbus (for those unaware K of C is a civic organization aligned with the Catholic Church) and Monsignor was complaining that the K of C wasn’t doing enough to support the building fund and helping build an addition/remodel of the parsonage.

Dad looked at him and quipped that he thought priest took a vow of poverty - and seeing the brand new Cadillac outside suggest that maybe the church would be better paying its staff a little less and putting more in the building fund instead to improve his home. Monsignor just looked and said “priest do take vows of poverty - but monsignors are exempt from this requirement”. That was the day before the estate planned changed and the church removed from it on our end.

 

[jjgold]

 

[Pimike]

So then spend time in Church, with friends, and go out to new places.

Yes

it’s about our creator and savior.

thanksgiving is a time to reflect and be thankful. Always sad to lose family members. Nothing wrong with remembering the good times and looking forward to seeing them again in the afterlife..

Good will to alll!!

 

[Tanko]

View attachment 47403

B E A U T I F U L.

 

[Tanko]

Well - the best example of what I saw locally was a letter personally written to my mother January 8th from the local priest - outlining the need for giving now that the holidays had passed - reminding her of the duties of parishioners to support the parish in their mission and while thanking her for being a life long member of the church for her adult life - reminding all of us have a limited time on earth and it is our duty to do what we can to support the needs of the parish by including them in our estate plan.

Mind you my mother passed on 12/31 and he performed her mass on 1/5 - so seemed a bit off he wrote a personal plea for cash 3 days later to a life long member of a parish of like 75 people total.

It was much of the same when we dad died - coming up to me and mom after the service reminding how dad would have wanted the church to be included in his estate - we reminded them then an estate plan was made long before and anyone included would be notified.

Of course every individual church is different- there may be Catholic Churches that are far less money grubbing - and there might be other faiths that are worse. I can only speak from experience and experience showed me the interest were financial first.

Actually reminds me of a brief exchange my dad had with the local head of the parish at the time (a Monsignor). Dad was with the Knights of Columbus (for those unaware K of C is a civic organization aligned with the Catholic Church) and Monsignor was complaining that the K of C wasn’t doing enough to support the building fund and helping build an addition/remodel of the parsonage.

Dad looked at him and quipped that he thought priest took a vow of poverty - and seeing the brand new Cadillac outside suggest that maybe the church would be better paying its staff a little less and putting more in the building fund instead to improve his home. Monsignor just looked and said “priest do take vows of poverty - but monsignors are exempt from this requirement”. That was the day before the estate planned changed and the church removed from it on our end.

When the preacher drives a better car than anyone else in the parish, there is something wrong.

 

[Pimike]

When the preacher drives a better car than anyone else in the parish, there is something wrong.

Sounds like you’re going to the wrong church. There’s false profits everywhere, wolves in sheep clothing.

 

[Tanko]

Sounds like you’re going to the wrong church. There’s false profits everywhere, wolves in sheep clothing.

You are so right PiMike. You are so right.

P.S. It was a Catholic parish.

 

[djefferis]

Sounds like you’re going to the wrong church. There’s false profits everywhere, wolves in sheep clothing.

100% agree

The “worst” offenders I feel are in the South - don’t know what it is - but always felt like the people who could least afford it or have the lower levels of education are the ones victimized the most.

Maybe it’s a combination of people who really need hope and who don’t know enough to realize they are being scammed. Plus it’s a bunch of loosely organized churches in small towns - not like there’s a central church watchdogging these places.

As far as the preacher driving a nicer car than anyone in the parish - well I’d say that’s basically every black church I’ve ever seen - but that would be racist and as we are finding out here on BMR today - racism is bad.

 

[maltedhopsfrenzy]

@djefferis and everyone else... what is your favorite thing about the Holidays?

 

[djefferis]

Remember, you always have your BMR family.

Most families have that one creepy/pervy uncle that makes everyone uncomfortable at family gatherings.

BMR has like 6 of them.

 

[pipe]

I love turkey day my favorite holiday. This just happens to be my favorite time of year.

 

[djefferis]

I do enjoy the traditional Thanksgiving day meals - not so much into the gluttony of stuffing myself these days - but nice when we are able have a spread and so many people bringing a dish or 2 over and sampling a lot of different traditions.

Probably what we will be doing this year on a smaller scale - just wife and me, her mother and brother/SIL and nieces.

Like I said - I remember much bigger Thanksgivings - and just general get togethers back when we were “poor” - days of living paycheck to paycheck and things like going out to eat in a restaurant were fancy occasions. Miss those days more than anything. I mean yea - we can afford to take a vacation every year now and our cookouts feature more steak and ribs and less hot dogs and cheap burgers. Still - miss those days.

Fortunately - been a decent year gambling so there will be some packages arriving at a few local places to pass out to kids this year.

 

[thetrinity]

bets are the only thing that makes it tolerable

 

[pipe]

I do enjoy the traditional Thanksgiving day meals - not so much into the gluttony of stuffing myself these days - but nice when we are able have a spread and so many people bringing a dish or 2 over and sampling a lot of different traditions.

Probably what we will be doing this year on a smaller scale - just wife and me, her mother and brother/SIL and nieces.

Like I said - I remember much bigger Thanksgivings - and just general get togethers back when we were “poor” - days of living paycheck to paycheck and things like going out to eat in a restaurant were fancy occasions. Miss those days more than anything. I mean yea - we can afford to take a vacation every year now and our cookouts feature more steak and ribs and less hot dogs and cheap burgers. Still - miss those days.

Fortunately - been a decent year gambling so there will be some packages arriving at a few local places to pass out to kids this year.

Holidays for me was different when the kids were little. Like I don't celebrate Christmas by putting up a tree getting the kids presents and what not.. Been there done that.. Now Turkey day.. I'm down for that. Let's see what's in store this year.