What words do you tell your best buddy when his wife just died

[carolinakid]

that what im dealing with since monday afternoon here

 

[BMR Genie]

Sorry to hear. There are no right words for that. Just make sure you are there for him.

 

[jjgold]

"I am there for you"

 

[eddiewilson]

Take him to a massage parlor

table shower with a Korean named Hannah (might be 30, might be 50, who knows) will do him some good

 

[carolinakid]

eddie please stop with these type of posts here, we want you to stay around but this is not the type of forum you was use to posting on and you need to mature up please, this is not needed and can we move this post to the gutter

 

[carolinakid]

Thanks Genie and JJ yes when i got the call i thought i was dreaming

 

[BMR Genie]

Thanks Genie and JJ yes when i got the call i thought i was dreaming

What happened to his wife if you don't mind?

 

[carolinakid]

it was cancer

 

[BMR Genie]

it was cancer

f*** cancer!

 

[sharpsquare]

f*** cancer!

This!

And there simply are no words only support it speaks louder than any words.

 

[carolinakid]

please just stop it toby

 

[BobbyFK]

That's a tough situation unfortunately CK. Just tell him that you're there for him in any way that you can be and let him process this

 

[lex_icon]

Knowing how much you loved each other, I can only imagine the pain you're going through.

Please know that I'm here for you, whatever you need. You don't have to go through this alone.

 

[carolinakid]

yes i going to give him a little time before i will try to get him out to games and stuff here, thanks guys

 

[BMR Genie]

When my best friend's dad died, I was the one who kept on crying on her side. She made a joke saying "Stop crying, people might think it's your dad who died" lol. There, I realized that I am really bad at comforting someone at funerals.

 

[carolinakid]

same here for me as i cant find the words for death

 

[KVB]

Tough situation CK, just be there for your friend.

Make sure he's eating and resting. Help him out, send him some meals so he doesn't have to worry about that stuff.

Make his life easier as time passes and waves of grief subside.

 

[jjgold]

What’s crazy within a year he’ll be dating somebody else that’s basically the game of life and filling a void that you miss

 

[KVB]

Remember CK, right now he's probably got a lot of people reaching out and offering whatever but as time goes on there will be less and less of that from others and he will be more and more on his own.

Make sure your not just there for him now, but also in the future when things get more lonely for him.

 

[djefferis]

Good advice in this thread - and the above pretty much hit the nail on the head. Lots of people will be there the next few days - but people will forget and get on with their lives. Be sure to keep checking in and understand everyone takes it differently.

Cancer is a tough one - the only “good” is you typically have time to prepare - but not over prepare if that makes sense. When the old man was diagnosed - he said it was weird - “I finally know what’s gonna kill me” he said - no worrying about having a heart attack unexpectedly or leaving everyone unprepared. Gave him the opportunity to tell people things he always wanted to - do things he wanted to do and in general do things he kept putting off for whatever reason.

To the survivors- it can have that effect too..you realize life is not a long term thing - and every day is best enjoyed now vs delaying things as it might be too late. Take the trip you want to take - spend the day doing something you enjoy and tell people how you feel - even if you think it’s understood.

Just be there for them - let them deal with it in their own way/time - but don’t let them shut down. Some people get caught up in their own depression and it’s a bitch to dig your way out of that. Without a little support it’s damn near impossible - got to have a reason to get up everyday.